Inconceivable Couple
by gunman
Summary: Rock and Roberta get exposed to a new designer aphrodisiac that causes them to be hot for each other, mostly against their will. RockRoberta romance. Chapters 1 and 2 edited.
1. Dazed and Confused

_**INCONCEIVABLE COUPLE**_

by Gunman

Disclaimer: I do not own Black Lagoon or it's characters

Summary: Rock and Roberta get exposed to a new designer aphrodisiac that causes them to be hot for each other, _mostly_ against their will.

Author's Note: This is my first Black Lagoon fanfic, so please be kind. Also... I am writing this story based entirely without having seen any of the anime. I've read several of the fanfictions and the bio's on the net, so I have a basic idea of what's what and who's who. Also... I started writing this story after reading the Rock/Roberta story '_Loose Ends'_ in which the pair were merely friends. Therefore, I thought 'How could I make it a type of romance which involves Rock and Roberta'? It's a problem since Roberta isn't a romantic character. She's like a female Terminator.

Then again, I kinda like challenges like that. So here it is, my romantic Rock and Roberta story!

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Chapter 1

**Dazed and Confused**

Rokuro 'Rock' Okajima blinked his eyes open as he stared up at the slowly turning fan overhead. Right away he knew something was wrong. Too long had he spent his time asleep in the main office of the Lagoon Traders to know that they didn't have a ceiling fan.

It was then that Rock realized something else. His sense of touch, which had become rather sensitive in the short time he had been with Lagoon Traders, alerted him to the fact that 1-he was naked. 2-he was covered by a blanket. And 3-he was not alone.

This last fact caused him to panic as he slowly turned his head to see who it was.

_Please let it be a girl. Please let it be a girl. But not Revy! Or Eda! Or Balalaika! Or..._ he froze when he saw a pair of long brown and rather messy braids strewn wildly about across her naked shoulders. He gasped as he realized who it was.

Rosarita DeCisneros, the Bloodhound of Florencia, a.k.a. _Roberta_.

Not only from her facial features, but also from the fact that there was a familiar-looking crumpled chambermaid's dress on the floor, next to his own clothes, round thin-rimmed glasses on the floor next to them, and an orange parasol just within arms reach of the bed.

Rock was frozen, his heart beating like a Hummingbird's wings as he took in the very dangerous woman who had her arms around his torso and her head on his bare chest. He couldn't move. He could barely breath. He had no idea how he had ended up in bed, without clothes, with Roberta of all people. And if he was right about what he was feeling, then both of them were naked. And considering that... well, Rock didn't want to think about that. Given his current situation he started praying, because the second Roberta woke up, she was going to send him to his maker.

While he and Roberta had never been friends, and he had done everything to stay on her good side, he was well aware of her abilities, which had more than earned her the reputation of 'one of the three most dangerous women in the world', alongside Balalaika and Revy.

_And yet..._ he thought as he looked at the sleeping woman. _She looks rather... peaceful. Cute even._ He thought at seeing her messy hair streamed down her glasses-less face.

Never would he have suspected that the infamously well-known Roberta would ever be peaceful or cute in any way, shape or form.

And yet, here she was.

Suddenly, Roberta stirred.

_Uh-oh._ Rock thought, his pulse racing again.

Her eyes turned upwards and took hold of his, the Japanese man's eyes widening in both fear and uncertainty. He was trying to figure out in which way she would kill him.

"Rock-san?" she said, slightly confused at meeting his face in the morning.

A mood which quickly changed as she lanced up out of bed, unwrapped her arms from his chest, quickly scanned the room before grabbing her shotgun parasol with her right hand and spun back around to wrap her left hand around his throat.

All without leaving the bed.

"Oh.. Uh... I can...Hi." he managed to say, which wasn't easy when someone had your throat in a vice grip.

"What Are You Doing Here?" she snapped. "Is This A Trap? Did You Drug Me? Answer Me Fast Of I Will Rip Out Your Throat!"

"I... don't... know... how... we... got... here!" he coughed.

"Do Not Lie To Me!" she snapped again, tightening her grip.

"I... wouldn't... lie... to you!" he gasped, barely able to breath now.

Roberta suddenly felt her anger dissipate as she found herself believing him. Releasing Rock from her grip, she settled back into a sitting position before looking at her naked self, the sheet of the bed covering her lap, but her athletic chest sticking out towards Rock, who was trying desperately to look at her face. Roberta lifted the sheet, causing Rock to blush, she looked around and then lowered the sheet back into position.

"It would appear that we have had intercourse." she said casually.

_Oh... 'shit'..._ he thought as he felt his energy drain, falling backwards and pressing down on his left arm. "AAAAHHHHH!" he suddenly shouted, the pain in his left arm causing him to jolt and practically jump out of the bed and onto the floor. "ARGH!"

Roberta quickly tossed the sheets aside and leapt from the bed to him, kneeling next to him with her parasol still in hand.

"What is wrong?" she asked.

"My arm!" he groaned, pointing to his left arm with his right.

Roberta set down her parasol and examined his arm with both her hands.

"It's broken." she said simply, completely undistressed by both of their nakedness.

"W-What?" he asked, thinking that maybe he had just twisted it at a wrong angle when he laid back, but as he tried to move his arm, the pain overtook him. "ARGH!"

"As I suspected: You're left arm is broken."

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Doctor's Office)

"Your left arm is broken, and your left shoulder is dislocated." the doctor said, examining the x-ray, which showed a pair of cracks below the elbow closer to the hand. Rock had actually known about the dislocated shoulder. Roberta had reset it before they came to the hospital.

Though calling this place a hospital was like calling the _Black Lagoon_ a luxury liner.

"Is there anything else I should know?" Rock asked.

"Yes. Have you been attacked by a dog recently?" the doctor asked.

"Uh... no. Why?"

"I was trying to figure out what kind of animal made those teeth marks over your rib cage."

Rock pulled his shirt open and looked in the full-length mirror. And right where he said, there were a set of teeth marks, upper and lower.

_Bloodhound of Florencia indeed._ He thought, realizing that they looked like human teeth marks.

A few minutes later, metal-splint on his left arm, Rock emerged from the doctors office, where Roberta was waiting for him in the reception area.

"What did the doctor say?" Roberta asked, standing up from her chair when she saw him reemerge.

"I dislocated my shoulder, I have a broken arm, and... something else." he replied.

"Something else?" she asked.

"Uh... nothing, just a... couple of bruises." _In the shape of teeth._

"I see." she said, pausing several seconds before saying, "I apologize for that." she said, actually surprised at herself that she had in fact apologized.

"It's not your fault." Rock said, almost automatically.

"It is logical to assume that I am responsible for your injuries."

"Well... I... it's, probably best not to dwell on it."

"I see."

The pair exited the doctor's office and headed back to Lagoon Traders. While they walked, Rock felt his ribs act up slightly.

_Jeez_! Rock groaned as he held his ribs with his good arm. _Broken arm, dislocated shoulder, and teeth marks besides. I don't get this banged up when I go out on job assignments with Revy and the others. But sleep with one woman... then again, it __is__ Roberta. _

"Are you alright?" Roberta asked, noting his discomfort.

"I'll be fine, Roberta. Thanks." Rock assured.

The pair kept walking, not seeing Mr Chang of the Triads who say them leaving the doctors office.

_Interesting_. He thought, at seeing the pair together.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Lagoon Traders Office)

"Rock? What happened to you?" Benny asked as soon as Rock walked into the office about noon.

"Uh... long story." Rock replied.

"You look like you got laid." Benny suddenly said.

_You have no idea_. He thought. "How do you figure that?" he asked, trying to make it sound like he was being sarcastic to the techie.

"Well, either you've been in a fight, or you just got laid. Considering the type of women Roanapur has, I figured it's one or the other." Benny explained.

"And you automatically assume it's the latter." she challenged.

"Well... in a fight, you would have a black eye." Benny reasoned.

"Riiiiight." Rock replied.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

About a half-hour later, Roberta walked through the doors of the Lagoon Traders, her parasol and suitcase in her hands, having retrieved the case from the hotel. At that same time, Revy showed up.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Revy asked Roberta. "I thought you're job here was finished."

"I did. But I cannot return to the Lovelace family just yet." Roberta replied to the other woman.

"Oh? Why not?"

"I require Rock-san's help on a private matter." she said, trying to be delicate.

Rock immediately got what she was hinting at and agreed before Revy could say anything else.

The pair walked out of Lagoon Traders and proceeded down the street.

"So... what exactly did you need my help with?" Rock asked.

"Somehow, both you and I ended up in a cheap motel and apparently had intercourse. I am convinced that you did not drug and rape me, as it is not in your character. And I am sure I did not have any form of alcohol. I am also sure that you could not have forced or coerced me into that situation." she explained to him.

"So... what does that leave?" he asked.

"I wish to retrace my steps and find out exactly what resulted in our intercourse." she said.

"Could you not call it that? And could you not say it out loud?"

"Does the subject upset you?"

"No, but you don't need to broadcast it."

"I see."

The pair spent the rest of the day retracing their steps the day previous.

As Rock recalled, the whole thing started when Roberta had come to Roanapur on assignment for the Lovelace Family.

An American drug syndicate had come to Roanapur to manufacture a new designer drug, with a key ingredient that was stolen from the Lovelace Family.

The ingredient is actually a new type of perfume with an aphrodisiac aroma to it. The syndicate had stolen it in order to make their drugs more appealing to their buyers, both aromatic and delicious.

The current head of the Lovelace Family, eleven year old Garcia Lovelace, had dispatched Roberta, his terminator-like maid and former FARC (Revolutionary Armed Forces of Columbia) guerrilla, to either retrieve the perfume or destroy.

The reason being that he didn't want the reputation of the Lovelace Family to be damaged upon the discovery that their perfume was being used to enhance the attractiveness of drugs.

Since Roberta had been to Roanapur she knew just who to ask for help in this situation.

The Lagoon Traders: Revy, Dutch, Benny and Rock.

She acquired their help in the most effective way possible: she paid them!

Benny and Dutch were able to track the American syndicate to their hideout, where both Revy and Roberta let loose with the skills that earned them their reputations.

However, during the firefight, the leader of the group had managed to escape with the formula and a couple vials of an enhanced perfume-aroma they were making. While Revy, Dutch and Benny were busy with the other syndicate members, Roberta followed after the leader, unaware that Rock had actually followed her.

When they finally cornered the man in the upper levels of the warehouse they were using, he tossed the vials at them on impulse, the liquids in the vials mixing and exploding, sending a cloud into the faces of the Japanese salary man and the Columbian guerilla. It stunned them briefly, allowing the man to get a few shots off, only to have Rock push Roberta out of the way. Unfortunately he landed on top of her as she snaked out her parasol and blasted the man with her SPAS-12.

He died, but the damage had been done.

"The vials that he threw at us must have had an aphrodisiatic effect on us." Rock said, the pair stopping for dinner at the Yellow Flag. Rock paid, of course.

"The vials must have contained a concentrated form of the perfume that was stolen from the Lovelace Family." Roberta stated.

"Which must have... compelled us to... act like we did... against our will." Rock said, trying to be delicate.

Roberta stared at the Japanese salary man, her vision, and reason, starting to blur.

"Why do you believe... it was against our will?" she asked, more sultry than she intended.

"Well..." he started to say, feeling his skin get hot as he looked at her. "...you and I both know that... you'd never want to sleep with me."

Roberta put her fork down next to her plate and reached over to grasp his still-good hand.

"You don't know that." she said, her breathing almost a pant now.

"I think I do." he said, a bead of sweat rolling down his brow as he stared at her.

"I think... I'm going to prove you wrong." she said, getting up and pulling Rock to his feet.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Roberta's Hotel Room, The Next Morning)

Rock was the first one to wake up, staring at the ceiling fan that he recognized from the morning before. A sense of dread going through him.

"Oh man! Not again!" he whispered/cursed to himself.

"Rock-san?" the familiar voice of Rosarita DeCisneros spoke.

"Yes, Roberta-chan?" Rokuro Okajima replied.

"We did it again." she said, lifting herself up off of his chest.

"Yeah. I know." he said, twisting his arm. "ARGH!"

Roberta looked at the arm that was giving him such trouble. She touched it and sighed.

"Don't tell me." he sighed.

"Yes. Your right arm is broken." she replied.

"Great. Matching set." he grumbled.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Author's Notes:

Here's my FIRST chapter of my FIRST Black Lagoon story. Hope everyone likes it. Depending on how many reviews I get, and what kind, I'm gonna post an update probably next month. I also admit that this is a rather bold move at making Roberta a more romantic character. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the story and let me know what you think.


	2. Return of Roberta

_**INCONCEIVABLE COUPLE**_

by Gunman

Disclaimer: I do not own Black Lagoon or it's characters.

Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my first Black Lagoon story. The reviews I got were all positive so I'm glad to see that everyone liked it. And I still haven't seen the BL anime.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Chapter 2

**Return of Roberta**

(Doctors Office, Roanapur)

"There." the doctor said as he finished tying off the black brace on Rock's right arm. "I have to say, Rock, you certainly don't seem the type to get into trouble. Yet this is the second time I've had to treat you for a broken in as many days. Fortunately it's only a hairline fracture."

"Yeah, well... it's the life I lead." Rock said as he gently rubbed the other side of his ribs.

"That dog must really like you." the doctor chuckled, noticing him rubbing his ribs where another set of teeth marks were present.

Rock caught himself as he was about to say something. While he did considered himself a gentleman in most respects and would naturally defend the honor of the woman he was sleeping with, he chose not to say anything, as their relationship was something of a gray area to him.

_Relationship. Right. What kind of relationship do we have that hasn't been about sex?_ _Not that I really remember the sex, but still. _Rock thought as he exited the office looking at his arm. _At least I don't need a metal reinforced splint for this one._

Roberta was waiting for him in the reception area when he emerged.

"Only an arm brace." she stated, seeing the lack of metal splint on his right arm.

"It's not as bad as my left arm." he said, moving it around a bit.

"I see." she nodded.

The pair walked out of the doctors office, said doctor recognizing the glasses-wearing maid that was accompanying the Japanese salary man out.

_So that's where the teeth marks came from. _The doctor thought as the pair left.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The pair made it back to the Lagoon Traders office before noon where Revy and the others were waiting.

"Where the hell have you been Rock?" Revy snapped. "And what the hell is she still doing here? What, the two of you spend the night together or something?"

The pair look at each other, the slightly taller woman nodding to the mild-mannered salary man.

"Actually... we have." Rock said with a straight-faced answer.

(Prior to their return to the Lagoon Traders office, Rock and Roberta had decided to tell Dutch, Benny and Revy all that they knew, which wasn't much, and hopefully enlist their help in finding a cure for their condition.)

The reactions were instantaneous. Dutch was wide-eyed shocked, at least as best as he could be. Benny was actually grinning at being right about Rock. And Revy... well...

"YOU WHAT?!" the hair-trigger woman shouted as she leaped at Rock, grabbing his throat. "You stinking, perverted, whiny, little..."

PUNCH!

Revy and Rock fell back, the irritable woman releasing the salary man and holding her jaw where a certain glasses-wearing chambermaid had just struck her.

"Are you alright, Rock-kun?" Roberta asked, helping Rock to the nearest seat.

"Yes, Roberta-chan. Thank you." Rock said as he rubbed his throat.

"What the hell was that for?" Revy snapped, Dutch actually restraining the woman from going for her guns.

"Rock-kun has already sustained numerous injuries within the last few days and did not deserve an additional injury without provocation." Roberta explained.

"Are you saying that because you think I'm a sadist, or are you actually defending your boyfriend?" Revy asked through clenched teeth.

"Yes." Roberta replied, the answering actually shocking both Revy and Rock.

"I think we'd better start at the beginning." Dutch suggested, pushing Revy towards the back of the company office where he hoped she would stay.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

20 Minutes Later...

"So the designer perfume/drug that the dealers stole from the Lovelace Family is what's causing your blackouts?" Dutch asked as Benny was typing furiously on his computer.

"They're not just blackouts, Dutch." Rock said. "Apparently the perfume was a concentrated strength that is having an aphrodisiatic effect on us."

"Causing you to have sex with each other, only you don't remember it." the well-tanned man said.

"Yes." Roberta said, noticing Revy pacing furiously around the office. She kept her eyes trained on the scant-dressed woman in the event that she snapped and attacked them again.

"Hmm. Well, I can honestly say that's the first I've ever heard of anything like this happening to anyone." Dutch groaned as Benny came back into the office.

"I've got the results." the glasses-wearing geek said, holding up a small stack of papers as he came back into the office.

"And?" Dutch asked.

"Well... I have good news, bad news and middle-of-the-road news." he said, handing the papers to Dutch.

"Middle-of-the-road news?" Rock asked, wondering what that was.

"Bad news first." Dutch said, looking over the papers.

"The bad news is... based off of everything you told me, and what I could find on-line about this kind of aphrodisiac and its effects... the stuff is still in your system. Apparently the dosage you got was strong enough that there are lingering traces of it still in your body. There are only a handful of documented cases like this in the whole world, but basically, it's having a delayed reaction in your body, causing the both of you to... well... get hot for each other at a certain time of night and well, not to put too fine a point on it, it's also causing you to blank out your memory of what happened the previous night." Benny explained, though most of that they already knew.

"What's the good news?" Dutch asked, handing the papers to Rock.

"The good news is that it'll eventually burn itself out, I'd say about two or three more days at worst though." he said. "Which is, I guess partly bad too. But basically, it means you'll probably end up doing it two or three more times." he said with a grin.

"And what's the 'Middle-of-the-road' news?" Revy asked.

"And why do you call it that anyway?" Rock asked as Roberta looked over the papers Benny had printed out.

"Well... I call it that because I'm not sure how you're going to take it." Benny said.

"What is it?" Rock pressed.

"Well... in two of the documented cases, the people who were exposed to the aphrodisiac regained their memories." Benny explained.

The group all turned their attention to the hacker.

"_All_ of their memories?" Rock asked.

"Yes. But like I said, only two of the cases did. There were at least a half-dozen total." Benny said.

"That is still a high percentage." Roberta stated.

"So I am going to remember having sex with a beautiful woman." Rock mused as he sat back against the couch.

Though he had said it softly to himself, Roberta, who was sitting right next to him, had caught it. She stared at him for a few seconds as if in thought.

Roberta herself had never been called beautiful by anyone. At first she wondered if Rock was simply being his usual gentleman self, or if he was simply being truthful.

What amazed her the most was that she actually hoped it was the latter.

Roberta leaned back against the couch next to Rock, her mind now in a turmoil over what she was contemplating. Being a FARC guerrilla she had grown up tough and hard, no room in her life for romance of any kind, with any of her comrades in the revolutionary army. Many of her comrades were dead now, and she briefly wondered what would have happened had she been more than a comrade with any of them.

She sighed, realizing that such a thing wouldn't have been possible, logically, as she didn't think of any of them in that way, and still couldn't. In part because they had never complimented her before.

None of them, not even her commanding officer, had ever called her beautiful, or ever looked at her with lustful eyes. Even friendly eyes. She had barely even shaken hands with most of them when she did work with them, and now here in Roanapur she had had sex twice with the same man in the last two days and she barely knew him.

_That is not true_. She thought to herself. _Rock-san is polite, intelligent, helpful, considerate, and hard-working. He is not rude or condescending, he does not force his opinions upon others. He does seem rather shy and meek at times. But it does present a balance amongst the other members of the Lagoon Traders._ She thought as she looked over at him, noticing that his eyes were closed. He looked like he was sleeping. _And in a way... he is rather attractive_. She thought.

She stopped, wondering if it was the aphrodisiac talking.

She looked back to the wall and noticed the clock. It was almost noon.

_Only a few hours to go._ She thought. _The last thing I remember of yesterday, we were having dinner at the Yellow Flag Bar... before ending up in the motel once again. Dinner... which would have been around seven or eight... right before the aphrodisiac took effect. _

She sighed, wondering how many more interludes she and Rock would suffer through before the aphrodisiac wore off and they could go their own ways again. Then again, Rock was the one who suffered, not her. What with his multiple bruises and broken arms.

Of course, another part of her didn't want to leave. The same part that wanted her to remember.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It was five days later and Roberta was boarding her plane to return to the Lovelace Family. Rock had come to see her off, which she actually appreciated.

The aphrodisiacs effects had worn off two days ago, but Roberta stayed an extra day just to be safe.

Once it became obvious that there was no keeping the pair away from each other, as they had tried on the third night only to have Roberta explode into the Lagoon Traders office and attack Rock like a woman possessed. After that the Black Lagoon crew just did their best to make sure Rock didn't die as a result of this. Though Revy did slug Benny when he tried to tape the pair. Considering what Roberta would have done to him, he got off lucky.

The fourth night Rock actually took Roberta out on an actual date: dinner, dancing, walk along the beach before the aphrodisiac took effect. And Roberta actually enjoyed being treated like a lady for a change. It was different, but she enjoyed it nonetheless.

Their pair had actually gone through three more intervals together, five total, still blacking out for the night and waking up in each others arms in the morning.

And naturally it was difficult for people not to hear about this.

Balalaika and Boris of Hotel Moscow had found out about this after the second day.

Eda and Yolanda from the Rip Off Church found out about it on the third day.

Mr Chang of the Triads suspected, but he found out later on the third day.

Shenhua and her driver Leigharch found out on the fourth day, mostly because they were on another assignment at the time Rock and Roberta had 'gotten together'.

And of course, Hansel and Gretel, the twin preteen assassins, found out just from overhearing.

Needless to say, Rokuro 'Rock' Okajima's reputation rose considerably with each discovery.

Rock just watched as Roberta's plane took off from the airport, a small part of him upset that she had gone. Thought he wouldn't miss the bruises he got from their encounters, he was sure he'd miss her.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Two Weeks Later)

Rock was finally out of his metal splints and braces and his bruises had healed up nicely. He was in the Lagoon Traders office doing Revy's paperwork, which she never really bothered with, his mind lost in a daily haze as the memories of himself and Roberta once again came back to him.

Two days after Roberta had left, Rock's memories of their nights together came back to him. At first he thought he was watching some porno movie, only to realize that the 'camera angles' were in the first person and the woman in the 'movies' was actually Roberta.

He remembered everything, even the pained injuries he had received from the woman.

_I wonder what she's doing now?_ He thought as he tried to get back to his paperwork. Though there was a guilty feeling in his mind, and heart, at not keeping in better contact with her. He hadn't known her phone number for the Lovelace Family so he couldn't call her, but he did have an address. Their home address hadn't been hard to find, so he had only sent her written correspondence. Only a couple letters, just letting her know how he was doing and how the Lagoon Traders were.

Not that he thought she would care, but he didn't feel up to sharing any personal information. He was sure she felt the same way, though she hadn't written back.

He scribbled his signature on another document when a knock on the door caught his attention.

_Someone's actually knocking_. He thought. _Must be a client._ "Come in, please!"

The door opened and Rock froze as he saw who it was who had arrived.

"Ro-Roberta?" Rock gasped as he immediately recognized the chambermaid clad woman.

"Hello, Rock-san." Roberta exclaimed with a small bow.

"Uh..." he started to say, rising up from the desk to move towards her. "It's nice to see you. I... didn't think you got my letters."

"I did. I just did not know how to respond to them." she explained.

"Oh." he said, wondering if she had tried to forget him and his letters kept reminding her. "Uh... what brings you back to Roanapur?" he asked.

"You." she said.

"Me?"

"Yes. A situation has developed concerning myself, that involves you."

"Me? Really?" he gasped. "Okay, what is the situation?"

"I am pregnant."

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Author's Notes:

Is this enough of a cliffhanger for you all?

I hope so. There will only be about two more chapters to this whole thing, and I'm having trouble filling the content of them.

At any rate, I hope everyone enjoys this little update and will bless me with good reviews. Also, if anyone has any ideas of suggestions for future Black Lagoon stories, please let me know. I have a few ideas, but I'd like to know what people think.


	3. Pregnant Pause

_**INCONCEIVABLE COUPLE**_

by Gunman

Disclaimer: I do not own Black Lagoon or it's characters.

Author's Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my first Black Lagoon story. The reviews I got were all positive so I'm glad to see that everyone liked it. And I still haven't seen the BL anime.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Chapter 3

**Pregnant Pause**

Rokuro 'Rock' Okajima just stared at Rosarita 'Roberta' DeCisneros in shock. And all due to what she had just said.

"You're...pregnant?" he asked.

"Yes." she said.

"Really. Wow. Uh..."

"I see you are distressed at this." she stated, setting her suitcase down on the floor.

"Well... wouldn't you be?" he asked.

"I am the one who is pregnant."

"Riiiiiiight."

Just then, Revy stepped into the office.

"Hey, Rock, where did you put the...What the hell is she doing back?" Revy snapped at seeing the maid-dressed woman.

"Well, it's like this..." Rock started to say.

"I am pregnant." Roberta said.

Rock winced as Revy blew her top.

"YOU F#ING JERK!!" she shouted at Rock, pulling him into a headlock.

"Oh, for crying out AACCKK!!" Rock gasped.

"WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU LEARN TO KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS?!"

"It... wasn't... my... fault..."

"YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE'S SHE HAD SEX WITH! WHY THE HELL COULDN'T YOU HAVE USED A GODDAMNED CONDOM??"

"I... wasn't... thinking..."

"YOU DAMN RIGHT YOU WEREN'T THINKING!!"

"He is actually being truthful!" Roberta said, peeling Revy off of Rock.

"What?" Revy snapped.

"We both were under the influences of an aphrodisiac. Neither of us were thinking clearly enough to utilize the use of any form of protection." Roberta explained.

"Grrrrr!" the Chinese-American growled.

Dutch and Benny came in after hearing Revy shouting.

"What's going on... oh." Dutch said, seeing Roberta.

"Oh, I hope they don't wreck the place." Benny groaned.

Rock and Roberta sat down on the couch, the trio standing around the office, as Roberta talked.

"I found out a few days ago that I was pregnant, and realizing that you, Rock-san, are the only person I have been with for this to have happened. After explaining this to my employer, I booked a plane immediately for Roanapur." Roberta said.

"You... came all this way... just to tell me?" Rock asked.

"Yes." Roberta said.

"You could have just phoned, or emailed." Revy asked, still miffed at her being here.

"I felt that something of this nature deserved a face-to-face." Roberta said.

"Oh. Well... thank you for that." Rock said.

However, Revy looked like she was going to pop at any second.

"Uh... maybe we could go out for a walk?" Rock suggested.

"That would be acceptable." Roberta replied.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

While Dutch and Benny were glad that Roberta had opted for the walk, for the sake of their office, Rock felt a little uncomfortable around the woman, mostly since he wasn't sure what to say.

"So... what are you planning to do about this? I mean... it could make your job more difficult." Rock said.

"Indeed." Roberta replied.

"Is there anything I could do to help?" he asked.

"I believe you have helped enough." she said evenly, neither cutting or short in her reply.

"Sorry." he said.

"Do not be. We were under the influence on an aphrodisiac. You are hardly to blame."

"Well... technically, I guess that's true. But still... I am sorry."

The pair continued walking, not going any place in particular, and not saying too much.

"Just so you know... you were my first." Rock eventually said.

"...you were mine, as well." Roberta tentatively replied.

_Wow, what made her say that?_ He wondered. There wasn't any reason for her to tell her that, but still, there was a part of him that felt honored she had told him.

_I was... his first._ She thought, actually feeling somewhat honored at him saying that.

The pair spent the afternoon together, just talking as they walked around the city. There were several people who noticed them, fearful of the woman's reputation, and respectful of the man who so easily talked to her as if they were friends.

Or more.

Eventually Rock returned to the Lagoon Traders office to finish up his work. Roberta promised to meet up with him later that night for dinner.

"So, what are you gonna do man?" Benny asked once Rock returned to the office.

"I... I don't know." Rock sighed. "I mean... my parents have always wanted grandkids, but this..."

"Not the way you wanted to go, huh?" Benny asked as Revy came in.

"I just thought I'd be married before I got a woman pregnant." he sighed, so lost in thought he didn't noticing Revy just yet.

"So... seriously, what are you gonna do?" Benny kept asking.

"Well... I don't know. I mean... the responsible thing to do would be to ask Roberta to marry me." he replied.

ACK! Revy spit out her beer. "WHAT?"

"Well... it's the right thing to do, right?" Rock asked.

"You wanna get married to that... that... Female Terminator?! The f#ing Bloodhound of Florencia?! That Goddamned Glasses-Bitch?!" Revy snapped.

"She does have a name, Revy." Rock said, slightly annoyed by her comment.

"That's Not The Point!" she snapped.

"Revy, she's carrying _my_ baby! I have to consider this!" he stated.

"You were high on Spanish Fly when you knocked her up! It's chemical induced lust! There's no love in that! You don't owe her anything!"

"If she decides to keep the kid, you could owe her child support." Benny put in.

"That's not funny!" Revy shouted at the computer geek.

"Do you see me laughing?" Rock asked the woman.

"Still, I'm curious as to what you're gonna do." Benny asked the salaryman.

"Well, like I said, the right thing to do would be to marry Roberta and raise this child together." Rock repeated himself.

"And if she chooses _not_ to have this kid?" Benny asked.

"Or not have _you_?" Dutch asked, coming into the office but still overhearing everything.

"Relationships are all about compromise." Rock said.

"Spoken like a true negotiator." the African-American vet replied.

"That woman does not compromise." Revy snapped. "It's more like 'her way or the graveyard'."

_You're one to talk._ Rock, and Benny, thought.

"And of course there is the possibility of what you're gonna do if she says 'yes'." Benny said.

"What do you mean?" Rock asked.

"Well... considering she works for the Lovelace Family, she's not gonna wanna stay here if she does say 'yes'. She might take you with her. Or if they release her from their service, then she could move here. But then again, this isn't the best place to raise a kid. On the other hand she would be a valuable asset to the Lagoon Traders, and..." Dutch explained, giving him both pros and cons.

"Thank you, thank you, I get it." Rock said, coming to an answer to his problem himself.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Roberta was walking down the streets of Roanapur, her left hand unconsciously over her stomach, her right hand gripping her parasol. (She had left her suitcase at the Lagoon Traders office.) Her mind was a torrid of stormy thoughts.

_I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby. What am I going to do?_ She thought.

Never in her life had she ever really had such disparaging thoughts.

Then again, she had never been pregnant before either.

Oh she had been shot, beat up, tortured, raped a couple times when she was younger, and killed enough people to fill her own personal cemetery, but this was truly a new situation for her. One she had no experience dealing with.

Then again, of all the people that Roberta had known since she came to Roanapur, Rokuro Okajima was perhaps the best choice of them all to have a child with.

Heck, she could have ended up with someone like Benny, or Dutch, or Boris, or even that ill-mannered priest Ricardo.

Still lost in her thoughts, she eventually found herself wandering back to the Lagoon Traders.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Rock was standing on the small and rickety dock where the Black Lagoon was tied up. He had just gotten there, and was staring at the open ocean, his hand in his pocket fiddling with something, as Roberta stepped onto the dock.

"You came." Rock said, turning around to see the woman, his hand out of his pocket.

"Dutch said you wanted to see me." Roberta said.

"Yes. I did." he said, fumbling with something behind his back. "I, uh..."

"Rock-san?" she interrupted.

"Yes?"

"You should know that I have decided to keep the baby."

"Oh. Good. That's good." he said, actually feeling relieved.

The pair were silent for a couple minutes, as if trying to properly arrange their thoughts, before they both popped.

"Rokuro Okajima/Rosarita DeCisneros, will you marry me?" the pair said to each other suddenly.

They looked at each other in shock, before Rock pulled his hand from behind his back to show the woman a small jewel case. Roberta gasped as she saw the gold ring with the 14karat diamond in it.

Truth be known, she didn't want to do this alone, and had hoped that Rock felt the same way. Obviously she was right.

"Before I answer that question, I have a request." she said.

"Anything." he replied.

"Sleep with me."

"What?" he gasped. "Uh... didn't we already do that?"

"The last time we did, it was under the influence of an aphrodisiac. I would like to experience the act without the aid of stimulants." she explained.

Rock nodded, figuring that it at least made a degree of sense.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The pair had returned to the same motel after another date, and the same room that they had stayed in weeks ago.

"You do not have to be gentle with me, Rock-san." she said as he gently touched her cheek.

"Maybe I want to." he said with a casual smile.

Their lips met, tenderly at first, a spark flashing between their bodies.

Roberta wondered briefly if this wasn't her first kiss with him. Her memories of their nights together involved more biting than actual kissing.

Rock's lips moved against Roberta's gently at a slow, sensual pace. The former FARC guerrilla found this simple act to be the most intimate form of contact she had ever experienced.

They eventually got their clothes off and moved to the bed where they made love. Slow, unhurried love that made their hearts race with every tender touch that they took from the other. Roberta found that she liked Rock's form of love-making, his slow and analytical technique where he took his time for her body to get accustomed to his touch. How he tried to figure out what her wants and needs were, what she liked and didn't like, and most importantly: how to do it just right.

They climaxed shortly after midnight and slept soundly until morning.

Come morning, Roberta found herself waking first and finding her compassionate and gentle lovers head nestled comfortably between her breasts.

She smiled as she gently stroked his hair.

"Rokuro Okajima... I accept." she whispered softly to him as she tightened her arms around him.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Authors Notes:

I admit that this chapter is rather short, but it was written up mostly to show how Rock and Roberta dealt with their situation.

And to be honest, you had to have expected Rock to ask Roberta to marry him. Being the kind of guy Rock is and all.

Also, I hope everyone enjoys the omake's I made for this chapter and drop me a nice review.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OMAKE!

Rock winced as Revy blew her top.

"YOU F#ING JERK!!" she shouted at Rock, pulling him into a headlock.

"Oh, for crying out AACCKK!!" Rock gasped.

"WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU LEARN TO KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS?!"

"It... wasn't... my... fault..."

"YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE'S SHE HAD SEX WITH! WHY THE HELL COULDN'T YOU HAVE USED A GODDAMNED CONDOM??"

"I... wasn't... thinking..."

"YOU DAMN RIGHT YOU WEREN'T THINKING!!"

"Why... are... you... so... upset?" Rock wheezed as Roberta tried to peel her off Rock.

"BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET _ME_ PREGNANT!" she shouted.

"What?" Roberta asked.

"What?" Benny asked.

"What?" Dutch asked.

"What?" Rock asked.

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Revy shouted. "I'VE KNOWN YOU THE LONGEST! I'VE WORKED WITH YOU THE MOST! I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE AND YOU GO AND GET THIS GLASSES BITCH PREGNANT BEFORE ME!"

"Uh... are you drunk?" Rock asked.

"Hmm. Actually, that's not a bad idea. We'll both get drunk so that you can knock me up!" Revy said as she dragged Rock into the back. "If you can get _her_ pregnant thanks to drugs, you can get me pregnant with the help of a little booze!"

"Since when do you drink a _little_?" Rock asked as Roberta followed them into the back room.

"Dutch?" Benny asked.

"Yeah?" Dutch replied.

"Should we be worried?"

"For Rock? Oh yeah!"

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OMAKE 2 (This is something I wanted to add to the main story, but I decided against it)

Roberta was walking down the streets of Roanapur, her left hand unconsciously over her stomach, her right hand gripping her parasol. Her mind was a torrid of stormy thoughts.

_I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby. What am I going to do?_ She thought.

Never in her life had she ever really had such disparaging thoughts.

Then again, she had never been pregnant before either.

Oh she had been shot, beat up, tortured, raped a couple times when she was younger, and killed enough people to fill her own personal cemetery, but this was truly a new situation for her. One she had no experience dealing with.

Then again, of all the people that Roberta had known since she came to Roanapur, Rokuro Okajima was perhaps the best choice of them all to have a child with. Heck, she could have ended up with someone like Benny, or Dutch, or Boris, or even that ill-mannered priest Ricardo.

Still lost in her thoughts, she didn't realize that she was being followed. Catching the reflection out of the corner of her eye, she paused and turned around.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Yeah. You can give us all your money, suck my wang, and then die slowly in the gutter." the leader of the ten-person gang said as they surrounded her.

As most people know, there are few things you don't mess with.

Professionally trained soldiers, fanatical revolutionaries, and mothers protecting their own children.

Problem was, Roberta was all three!

She raised her parasol quickly, blasting the man in the chest with her SPAS 12. The other thugs were on her in the second. She quickly swung her parasol and whacked two men in the face, knocking them back as another man tried to knife her in the back. She spun around, grabbed the man and hurled him into his body, the knife imbedded in his buddy.

Roberta continued spinning around, feet and fists colliding with everything and anyone in her line of vision.

She grabbed one by their necks, and broke it. She hurled another man into the pane-glass window of the shop nearest her. She hefted another man over her head and slammed him into the street. She grabbed another man and thrust his head into the brick wall next to the pane-glass window. And the last man she grabbed, she stuck her parasol into his stomach and pulled the trigger.

Amazingly, she didn't get any blood on herself.

The fight concluded, the former FARC guerrilla dusted herself off and headed back to the Lagoon Traders to talk to Rock.

_This is definitely not the proper place to raise a child._ She thought as she left the scene.


	4. Epilogue

_**INCONCEIVABLE COUPLE**_

by Gunman

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

Summary: Roberta remembers how her life had come to this.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Chapter 4

**Epilogue** (16 years later, The Lovelace Compound, Venezuela)

"Ryu, I think it's time we had the talk." Rock said to his fifteen year old son.

"Ooooookay." the young man said as he entered the office. He sat down as his father looked up from his paperwork.

"You've no doubt had sex education and all, but if you do happen to have sex with a girl..." Rock said, pausing to see if his words sunk in.

"Yes, I like girls." he said.

"Good. Anyway, if you do end up having sex with a girl, make sure you don't do what me and your mother did our first time when..."

"DAD!" the boy shouted in disgust. "I don't wanna hear about you and mom having sex! That's disgusting!"

"She broke both my arms." Rock explained.

He stared at his father in shock.

"What?"

"Do I have your attention now?"

"Wha... how??..."

"Actually she broke my left arm and dislocated my left shoulder."

From the hallway outside the office, Roberta DeCisneros Okajima smiled as she listened to Rock giving their son 'The Talk', remembering back to how her life had come to this point.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Rock and Roberta were married in Roanapur, with all their friends in attendance. This included the Lovelace Family, actually only Garcia Lovelace and Fabiola Iglesias, who flew in to attend the wedding. And Garcia actually glad that Rock was the one Roberta was marrying.

They were married at the Church of Violence, which was seemingly appropriate, with gifts from everyone, including Hotel Moscow, The Triad, The Yellow Flag Bar, and especially The Lagoon Trade Company.

Not that everyone in attendance had always been friends, but it was better to be on Roberta's good side, so they got her gifts. And most of them liked Rock well enough too.

Hansel and Gretel were there as well. Hansel was the ring bearer, Gretel was the flower girl.

Rock actually had a last minute bachelor party at Bao's Yellow Flag Bar which consisted of Dutch, Benny, Garcia, Boris, Rico, Hansel, Leigharch, Lotton, and Mr Chang. Even Rowan "Jackpot" Pigeon attended, though somewhat disappointed that there were no strippers at the bachelors party.

Rock didn't want Roberta to kill him if word got out about that.

It was also safe to say that Roberta's baby shower, which consisted of Revy, Eda, Yolanda, Shenhua, Balalaika, Gretel, Madame Flora, Fabiola and Sawyer, was the only gathering of women that no one tried to crash, for obvious reasons. Yukio, when she heard about the wedding for Rock, sent a gift for them as she couldn't get away from Tokyo herself. (Rock had actually helped to establish Yukio as the new head of the Yakuza, with a strong partnership with Hotel Moscow) Even Janet Bhai, also known as Greenback Jane, sent a gift.

Eda reluctantly joined them, as she was pissed that Roberta had landed the only decent guy, in hers and many others opinion, in Roanapur. Something that she had actually teased Revy that she would do if she never did. And Revy herself was... was still upset about this whole thing too.

Despite her reputation, and past encounters, Roberta quickly warmed up to Rock. In fact he was the only male, aside from their son, who she let touch her. She also found out something interesting about Rock: he was a cuddler. He seemed to crave close contact, hugs and the like, which he never really got from Revy or the others. It was something that Roberta actually wanted to give him, since she trusted him as much as she did Garcia.

But more than that, everyone agreed that they were a good match for each other. Roberta was the brawn, Rock was the brains. She was the fighter, he was the negotiator. They both were skilled at resolving conflicts, though in different ways. In truth, they complimented each other rather well.

Once they were married, Roberta convinced Rock to move to Venezuela in order to live under the employment of the Lovelace Family. Garcia had actually made the offer to Rock before Roberta approached him about it. And all things considered, it was less stressful to the man than anything he had encountered alongside the Lagoon Traders.

It was there that Roberta gave birth to their son, Ryu Okajima.

However, their first two years were fraught with trouble, as Roberta was targeted by a Columbian cartel for a variety of reasons. They actually ended up back in Roanapur where the Lagoon Traders agreed to help them out. They were even helped out by their other pseudo-allies, from Shenhua to Eda, to Lotton, to Sawyer, to Hotel Moscow and especially Hansel and Gretel.

The twin assassins had actually grown fond of Rock and went with him when he left Roanapur. It was Roberta who managed to establish a set of rules for the pair to follow, specifically a 'Don't kill anyone unless I tell you to' rule.

It was difficult being on the run with a newborn baby, and Roberta had actually taken off one night without telling Rock.

Naturally when Rock found out he was furious and did everything in his power, along with Garcia and the others, to locate her.

He tracked her down two months later and verbally had it out with her.

Fabiola had to cover young Ryu's ears due to the verbal bashing that Rock gave to Roberta. Her argument was that she did it to protect her family, but Rock threw it back in her face saying that as a family they had to stick together. The argued back and forth until it finally came down to blows. Rock was actually surprised that Roberta hadn't hit him harder.

The sentence that ended the argument came from Rock.

"I love you, Roberta, so please don't ever run away from your family again." he said as he sat on top of her, tears streaming down his bruised face as he looked her square in the eye.

Roberta promised never to leave her family again.

With everyone's help, Roberta was able to end the Cartels chase of her and resume her duties as the maid of Garcia Lovelace, but also as the wife of Rokuro Okajima and mother to Ryu Okajima.

With the threat from the cartels over, Rock settled into the life of taking care of his family. Under Garcia Lovelace, Rock proved to be a valuable negotiator, lawyer, accountant, and businessman. And his skills were well rewarded by the Lovelace family.

But more than that, he and Roberta continued to be husband and wife, the former guerrilla actually finding a happiness that she didn't know existed.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Roberta woke from her daydreaming as Rock finished up his talk with Ryu, feeling a tug on her dress. Looking down she smiled as she saw her youngest daughter, four-year old Rachael, looking up at her. She leaned down and picked her up, giving her a tender kiss on the cheek.

"Are you alright, sweetie?" Roberta asked.

"I'm hungry." Rachael whined softly.

"Rachael!" a 10 year old girl, Rene, cried as she ran up to them. "I'm sorry, Momma. She got away from me again."

"Yes. She's becoming quite the escape artist." Fabiola said as she walked up to them.

Seeing that Ryu was coming out of the study, Roberta handed Rachael over to Rene. "Fabiola, take them and get something to eat. And make sure River and Ryan remember to wash up for dinner."

Fabiola nodded and followed the two younger children out.

"Mother!" Ryu gasped when he saw Roberta.

"I trust your talk with your father went well." Roberta said.

"Y-Yes." he stuttered, remembering what his father said about her breaking Rock's arms.

"You haven't done anything wrong, Ryu. Don't stutter." Roberta said.

"Sorry."

"You have studies to attend to."

"Yes, mother." he said, giving her a quick hug and then returning to his room.

Roberta walked into the study/office where her husband looked up and smiled at her.

"Anything interesting happen while I was in here?" Rock asked.

"Yes. Rachael escaped from under Rene's eyes." Roberta said.

"Again?"

"Yes."

"Just like her mother I guess." he grinned.

Roberta smiled as she walked over to Rock, leaning in and wrapping her arms around his neck from behind. Rock leaned into the hug.

"I had often thought that motherhood would be more difficult than this." she said.

"Five kids are more than most families have. Though it does help that their mother is the infamous Bloodhound of Florencia." Rock stated. "Keeps them in line."

"I don't want my children to fear me." she stated.

"They don't. But after knowing about your past, seeing you in action, anyone would be wary." he explained.

Roberta sighed. "Yes. But I did not want them to see that side of me."

"It's part of who you are, Roberta-chan." Rock said, turning to nuzzle her cheek with his nose.

"Does it make you regret that..."

"Never."

She looked at him as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"I love you, Roberta-chan. I don't regret anything in our time together, with the exception of you running away from me and our son."

"I still feel sorry for that."

"At least Ryu is too young to remember it."

Roberta tightened her hug on Rock. "I love you, Rock-san."

"I love you too." he said, kissing her cheek gently. "Anyway... what's for dinner?" he asked.

"Roasted chicken and vegetables." she replied, tracing a finger down his chest. "It should be ready in about... one hour and twenty-seven minutes." she said with a honeyed tone.

Rock smiled as he stood up and pulled his wife into a passionate embrace.

As the pair made love in Rock's office, an action that would possibly lead to another child, the pair shared a joint thought at how lucky they were to have such a unique group of children of their own.

Ryu was their oldest, at 15, and had developed a talent for computers. The twins, River and Ryan (girl and boy) were their second and third children, at 12 years old, separated by three minutes, loved all kinds of physical activity, which also included playing in the dirt like explorers. Rene was their fourth child, at 10, and seemed to possess a natural talent/love for learning other languages. And little Rachael, at 4, was their youngest, and already proving to be a skilled escape artist.

Though different in many ways, the one thing that seemed to be a constant amongst the children was that they got their strength from their mother, but their brains from their father. It made them rather balanced, and the apple of their parents eyes.

And yet, even with their happy family life for nearly two decades, many people still considered both Rock and Roberta to be the most unlikely pair to ever have gotten together.

In short, a truly Inconceivable Couple!

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Authors Notes:

Here it is, the last chapter of Inconceivable Couple. Hope everyone enjoyed the story as I enjoyed writing it.

And I hope everyone enjoys my other Black Lagoon stories.


End file.
